Pencil-Thin Purposes: When Dreams Disappoint

I peek through a windowpane on this frosty February morning in anticipation of a velvety blanket covering the road to work. Yet last night’s weather broadcaster’s boastings of severe snow conditions fell far short of my expectations; in fact, not even a pencil thin layer of puffiness materialized.


“No snow day.” I pout.

My husband joins me in a chorus of complaints. “I had fantasies of staying home from work and doing nothing.”

My hopes had more to do with what I would do, like working on my next mixed media piece and starting to re-organize a manuscript. Yet none of this is going to happen, so I turn to my consoling friend, the pen.

"The Pen" A Poem About Writing

This morning as I write, I recall how often my most lofty of ambitions end up like this disappointing snowstorm. I plot and plan and pander my purse to pursue a purpose I’m just sure is the reason I’m alive, the answer to this rustling of feathers deep inside. I try to grasp the dove of peace but the down flies in every direction, and I highly suspect I’m not alone.

Ruffled Feathers Red-breasted Robin Poem

You’d think we humans would grow accustomed to disappointment and open clenched fingers and let the trapped bird inside fly away freely. You’d think we’d eventually come to the conclusion that “peacefulness is just not meant for me.”

But we don’t, we can’t, for God has engraved our insides with the propensity to dream of higher purposes, to search out majestic meanings, to long for eternal treasures. And so we measure our pencil-thin accomplishments with the rigor of Olympic athletes.

We hang onto hope’s windowsill with fingernails worn jagged from our efforts. And the gravity of our humanness pulls us down until we leave gouges in the paint. The prospect of peace bats around in our brains but we can’t let go of what we want to do long enough to grasp for a wing, a wing that we’re not sure will keep us alive. READ THE ENTIRE POST…

On Tattered Angel's Wings Inverted Pencil Sketch


About JoDee Luna

“I’m lost in a love affair with portrait painting!” JoDee Luna confesses. This author, artist, and educator describes herself as a creative eclectic due to her diverse history, multiple talents, and various career pursuits. She enjoys a host of creative expressions: mixed media, mask making, floral designing, photography, sculpture, and gardening. JoDee believes the creative process infuses her with the courage to try on new artistic identities, take inspired risks, and explore imaginative ideas. She seeks to share her insights with others through her book, Refrain from the Identical: Insight and Inspiration for Creative Eclectics and website by the same name, Both provide helpful tips and inspiration for artistic multi-taskers, those who enjoy various forms of artistic expression.
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