“A moment happens while living upon this earth when you realize it is not all about you…and then you teach!”
I need to refocus! Yesterday’s session with my editor spun me out of optimism and into a depressive inertia. I spent my time designing the “Refrain from the Identical” creativity site because I had nothing to write.
Today I need to write myself through this malaise. With ambitions reigned in and realism renewed, I jump up and into my writing saddle. I now try to ready for a mountainous trek while envisioning the frothy sweat gathering on mule’s haunches.
My editor’s critique was what I expected. She cited my strength as vivid imagery. My weaknesses did not surprise: grammar, organization, wordiness, and redundancies. I groaned while anticipating the mountain of work before me.
“Life is a tradeoff!” She explained. My translation, “You can’t do it all but have to choose what you sense God’s destiny is for you and then focus.” Today I remind myself that my destiny divides between teaching and creating—melding these when possible in spite of the increasingly stricter state regulations separating them.
Today I feel stymied. I do not have sure footing as a writer. Nevertheless, human effort will climb higher up this rocky path. My mother reminds me that my writing path is like the camps on the way to Mt. Everest. The hikers reach a camp, recuperate, and then climb to the next camp even higher. Maybe one day I will be a guide for youth ambitious enough to take this trek.
One of my budding student writers said a tearful goodbye on Friday. I featured her free verse poem in one of my blog postings. Her family’s move out-of-state forced her departure. I gave her a CD of PowerPoint and writing projects she completed while she wiped tears from eyes. Reassurances of reaching me online through the blog sites seemed to bring some comfort.
My heart ached over not getting to watch her writing gift blossom. She reminded me why I teach!